My toes have been tapping, my voice has been singing, and I find that I have more to give than usual; more smiles, more love. In other words, I feel like celebrating.
This past year I've been working one one one with Jen, a mentor/teacher/spiritual advisor/all around bad ass sister who has, and I won't say "held the space" because I'm really tired of that expression; as my real estate obsessed husband phrased it: "she held the square footage" for tremendous and at times (is this a run-on? sorry Mrs. Lamb my 5th grade teacher) subtle shifts which have led me to where I am today. Happy.
Her big message is: celebrate. Celebrate how far you've come in small ways and in big ways. It could be as simple as today I didn't judge myself, or I didn't react, etc.. To delve into all the things I've learned through our work together would take too long and you'd be bored, so in the spirit of brevity I'll sum it up by saying I simply love myself more. Not based on merit, or how much I have in my back account. Not based on what you say or do not say, or how you behave towards me (you meaning the whole world).
And what i'm finding is that from this new perspective, I can now clearly see the difference between when you (meaning the world, ahem possibly my dear sweet loving amazing husband:), are projecting your c%#p onto me and when I need to look at the mirror you're presenting and take responsibility for my c%#p. Without judgement or criticism. With more tolerance and humility.
And look. I'm not saying I'M THERE. I still react, and yet not as much. I can now see more clearly if a friendship feels right or not, without judgement. I'm getting really good at boundaries. I'm finding the balance between play and work. I trust my intuition. I have more clarity about why I'm on this planet and I'm really excited about what's coming.
You mean the world to me. Literally. Without you I'd have no one to share with and that would be sad. You give me a reason to celebrate. Maybe after reading this, you might be inspired to slip off your shoes and dance with me.
P.S. For those of you curious about Jen Blackstock and her work, check out her website www.jenblackstock.com